I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
