she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm sobbing to NWA
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
