I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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