All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
dude. I can hear the air.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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