Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
