Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
