is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
