I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I party with great urgency now.
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