yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
