he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize