party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
