Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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