Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
My feet surprised me
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