Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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