I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
we're making bets on your personal life
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
3 2 1 whiskey
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
