Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
