marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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