Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize
