are you so shy because you have an std?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
