I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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