Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We had to coat check the pizza.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
