If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
