his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
