yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
