i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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