Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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