I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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