Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize