And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm sobbing to NWA
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
