Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
