ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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