tell your sister to shave her snatch
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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