You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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