No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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