i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
