Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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