You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
