Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
