I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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