i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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