i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
