Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
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when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
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We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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