It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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