Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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