he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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