i jhust puked up my retainher.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
