So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
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