YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
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This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
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i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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