dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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