I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize