I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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