I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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