Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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