well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
