hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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