Porn is love you can see.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
