We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
