remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
